I started this section of the blog to get a bit personal with you, and share what’s going on in my life in ways you don’t get to see. I am deciding to call this series in Personal, “Life Lately” where I’ll give you a behind-the-scenes update on what life has been looking like lately. I’ll break it down into the areas I like to focus on the most—wellness, lifestyle, business, and motherhood. Maybe I can do this at the end of every quarter, too!
I have some thoughts to share with you and exciting updates. So, grab a cup of tea, get comfy, and let’s catch up!
Last summer, I had an epiphany. I realized that where I was in my business wasn’t going to be sustainable long-term if I didn’t begin implementing some changes. I wasn’t feeling like my business was delivering services I felt moved by and I recognized that I have so many skills I’d like to tap into. So, I decided on two things:
- To expand my private practice to hire clinicians
- Facilitate the first cohort of the Wellthy Therapist Academy
These two things fulfilled my love of program development, teaching, and supervising. In the fall of 2022, I got a chance to launch both initiatives. But just as I was onboarding a staff member, an event in my life quickly halted these plans, and I had to put this expansion on hold. More on this event in a later post… it’s exciting but it changes everything, and I am not ready to share it yet. When I do, you’ll be amongst the first to know.
Anyway, the first cohort of the WTA, a private practice training program, went really well, and everyone successfully completed the program. One clinician even took the leap and started her own private practice! I recognized quickly that teaching others how to build and scale their private practice is where I seem to thrive, and feels like a calling from God to serve in this way. Every day since, I’m inspired by countless ideas on how to make the academy even better, and I can’t wait until the next cohort starts in July.
Another aspect of my business that has seen some movement is the population that I serve. I’ve always enjoyed working with BIWOC, and I’ve also been thinking a lot about mothers specifically. After learning about Matrescence post giving birth, it’s been on my heart to move in this direction and serve Mothers and Mompreneurs. I’ve transitioned to seeing more clients who identify as mothers of color and only accepting new clients that identify as such. It’s truly bringing me joy and feels so aligned with my business and personal values. In serving mothers, I’ve come up with different offerings that I’m excited to have in my business, and this also makes being in business refreshing again.
Lastly, to ensure that my business is running smoothly, I’ve started implementing a “CEO Day”. As business owners, it’s easy to get caught up in delivering services and forget to spend time on the back end of the business. I especially see this in folks who are in private practice. In the past I would use any free time I got to complete these tasks, and over time I recognized how fragmented this was and not the best practice. By designating one day a month to spend the entire workday on my business, has made a significant difference in the overall health and success of my business. I get to check in on my SOPs, my bookkeeping, my marketing, brand messaging, business goals, and so much more. I have a whole Asana template that I use, that I am happy to share with you if you’re in private practice and need a system for your CEO Day.
After I had my son, I learned a hard lesson in self-care. We all know I love engaging in wellness rituals, but when everything shifted as a result of matrescence, so did my wellness rituals. I couldn’t always practice in the same way I used to pre-baby. Re-evaluating this had been on my mind, given the shifts in priorities that come with mothering. I used to get so upset with myself if I wasn’t hitting all my self-care goals and practicing efficiently. I had to reframe my mindset around self-care and what my wellness needed to look like in this season of my life. I found that on a day-to-day basis, I do much better when I focus on small acts of self-care that don’t take a lot of energy and effort. It’s easy to feel guilty about not focusing on self-care, but by doing what feels in alignment with where I am at the moment, I’m able to enjoy it without adding to the overwhelm.
I started checking in with myself and evaluating where my energy levels were, and what kind of effort I wanted to expend on self-care. If I felt energized, and had enough time to engage in a practice that took some effort that I would do a practice that aligned with that, and conversely, if I felt less energy and couldn’t give as much effort then I moved accordingly. This process of approaching self-care felt empowering, and minimized the guilt I was experiencing. I even created a system for myself that you can try too!
I’m currently in a season of expansion in my motherhood journey. When I first experienced the inner split that mothers go through, it felt overwhelming. It felt like I was still me, but more of me because I was now a mother, and that brought on a host of hats to wear, identities to integrate, and titles to assume. Sometimes that came in both the best and worst ways. I couldn’t name this experience at first though. Discovering “Matrescence” put a lot into perspective for me and was empowering and validating to have the language to describe my experience.
Since then, I have been consumed by learning as much as I can about Matrescene, for both my sake and the clients that I serve. So much so, that I was accepted into a Matrescence-focused training program for service-based providers and coaches. Part of the training includes us digging deeper into our own Matrescence journey, and our relationship with Motherhood. I am both eager, and interested to see what surfaces for me and how that will aide in my work with Mothers.
In my new season of busy mompreneurship, I decided to do things differently to make life more manageable. In fact, I was secretly shaping up a season of ease for myself this past winter. I just wanted to spend less time on things that didn’t feel that important in comparison to others. My hair and clothes were at the top of that list, so I invested more in a capsule wardrobe and also began loc’ing my hair.
I have been wanting to loc my hair for a many years. In college, I loc’d a few strands in the back of my head as a test run. Obviously they didn’t last long because I had no idea what I was doing. For the next few decades, I would admire them from afar. Being with my husband, who has beautiful long lucsious locs, has been a constant reminder of my once desired hairdo. So last fall I got bored with my hair. It had grown so much, and I just felt like I didn’t want to fuss with it anymore. I scheduled an appointment, and finally installed starter locs, by a real loctition this time. Today, my locs are maturing and it’s been such a freeing experience to wake up and “not have to do my hair”.
Then in January, I did a huge wardrobe purge and haul, but mostly purging. I donated so many clothes to a nearby thrift store and spent time thinking through the items I was left with to come up with outfit combinations. This too has been such a hack. My mornings are so much smoother because I am not spending a chunk of time trying to figure out what to wear. I just grab and go! And yes, I still get ready for the day as if I am heading to the office; makeup and all.
It may seem like a small thing, but taking care of myself in these ways has really helped me feel more put-together and confident, which has positively impacted other areas of my life too.
In the midst of all the updates in my life, one thing that I’m particularly proud of is how my husband and I have been trying to get back to regular dating. We established early on in our dating life that we would take turns planning surprise monthly dates. But with a new baby and our work schedules picking up, we found ourselves tired and not really putting in the effort. So, in January, we recommitted to this tradition and even added a family date with Atlas every third month. Earlier this month, my husband surprised me with tickets to a WWE event. Although wrestling is not my thing, I had so much fun watching him enjoy himself and seeing his inner child peek through. It’s moments like these that make the effort of prioritizing our relationship all the more worthwhile.
Overall, these past few months have been full of growth and discovery in all areas of my life. While there have been challenges and struggles, I feel grateful for the opportunities to learn and evolve. I’m excited to continue exploring and expanding my business, deepening my connection with myself and my loved ones, and embracing all of the joys and challenges that motherhood brings.
Thank you for joining me on this journey!